So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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