The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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