my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize