ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
