During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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