You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
