the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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