No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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