I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
