Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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