He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
