he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
