We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
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Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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