i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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