I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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