I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
