i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
