Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
