i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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