maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
