Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
