This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize