32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize