So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize