I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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