Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
