He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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