More tranny stories later!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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