Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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