CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
