If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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