Where is the hickey?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
