Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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