i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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