Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize