Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
