i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
