i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
