they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
