For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize