i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize