You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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