His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
