You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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