doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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