Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
