I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
