Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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