I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
ok first of all what the fuck
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
