She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
