I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
