He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
