I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
