she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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