dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
