Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
